Years later, there was another beautiful Italian. Then, another and then another. All quite simple to please. Good cook? Check. Respectful? Check. Well groomed? Check. And that was that.

Then came along a person unlike the rest. Possessing rare, hard-to-find qualities in a man, the attraction was unyielding and the thought of being separated almost felt unethical. We had a laugh, (I) talked for hours (he listened dotingly), we inspired each other, shared our lives and then it ended.

When your heart and future shatter at once, it, in short, feels like an invisible hose is relentlessly draining every ounce of sparkle from your body.

Keeping close to your nearest and dearest reminds you that you are very much loved and wonderful. The kind of people who won’t one day trivialize the entirety of your relationship by leaving you because, “this whole thing has just lost its charm.”

Sooner than anticipated and to my surprise, feelings of confusion and sadness steadily evolved into relief. Relief from pressures and sacrifices I hadn’t come to realize until everything fell apart and unraveled before me.

This resilience, in part, could be credited to my bottomless barrel of wine and endless hours of uninterrupted Glee.

Work-related assignments aside, I had severe writer’s block, as my passion for it dwindled away from losing so much sparkle. Along with it went sense of humour, sex drive and raison d’être. Temporary as it was, it was still lousy. Sadness has beauty while emptiness has just that: nothing.

After recently reviewing some old work, I’ve included a very small part of something unfinished because a) it doesn’t matter anymore, and b) after re-reading it, I still believe it has truth:

// The discovery of an answer to one of life’s most puzzling questions, which has satisfied my curiosity and tamed my uncertainty, and in turn I hope will do the same for you. This is when you know:

His presence in your life drives you to achieve harmony in your relationships with others.

You learn to embrace your quirks, because he loves you for being a passionately ambitious, worrisome perfectionist who’s been coding websites since 1998.

He pushes you to chase after your most unrealistic dreams. When you catch one, you will love him for never giving up on you; when you don’t, you will love him for supporting you.

You have lettuce in your teeth or a booger in your nose, he warns you. He really loves you when he picks it out for you!

You share some of your darkest secrets and in return, he shares some with you.

You will know it to be true when in the loneliest of moments and toughest of situations, you find strength and solace all from the sound of his voice. //

Taking on a lover, post-split, highly depends on your own personality and tendency to get attached. I use the term lover, because ‘rebound’ is dehumanizing and, well, not very nice.

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Even if your lover is an endearing scatterbrain but hard to let go of because he was the first to reveal that some qualities aren’t so rare; a veteran dater who asks you out and offers his job description in the same breath, or best of all; a pompous yuppie who confesses, “I’m just really messed up and want to find someone hotter than my ex girlfriend.”

Only When You’re Ready is playing the field delightfully liberating and exciting.

Be weary of rekindling old flames as it serves only to re-open old wounds and return you to a time in your life you moved on from for a good reason. If a new catch brings up the future at the very start, he is desperate and will cling. If he asks for your number and doesn’t send a ‘good to meet you’ text later that night, he met someone slutty else.

The last few bits of missing sparkle were recovered after a beautifully platonic soirée with an old high school friend, now impressively successful and still handsome, ambitious and down-to-earth.

Yes, this combination exists. No, you won’t spot him guzzling double rum and cokes at a bar in a suit after work. Side note: Guys regularly wearing suits are required to because they have to impress somebody more important than them, young ladies, remember this! This one is busy studying for his next designation or having casual beers, watching/playing sports. This one, in fact, makes for an exceptional role model, as he is the master in the art of prioritizing. Career, finances, health, family and friends. With this one, girls will always come last, if at all. Take note and follow suit!

Relationships, and life in general, with its triumphs and complications, can make people jaded. Ignoring your senses and leaving fate to determine your next step is passive and also boring. Remember ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’? Whether you open the unlocked door on the right (turn to page 6) or unhitch the old window on the left (turn to page 13) it’ll still be a good read and you’re going to finish the book.

Don’t ever feel you need to settle or change things about yourself. If you have longstanding friendships and your boss hasn’t fired you, then you’re fine just as you are. Be mindful of what you want and what you need from a best friend & lover, because your partner can be both.

When you find it, grab it. When it finds you, fall into it. And then love the heck out of it, with every last one of your sparkles.

Also see my production of the “Finishing Touches” column, on innovative, eco-friendly and stylish water coolers for the home.

In the handbag…

• Hand sanitizer
• Metropass
• iPod
• Cellphone
• Pen, notepad
• USB Key
• Agenda
• Map (metro & city)
• Wayfarers
• Pashmina
• Chapstick
• Sugarless gum
• Bobby pins
• Ouchless hair ties
• Ah, yes. Wallet

In the closet…

• Leather jacket
• Rain repellant trench
• Wool button-down coat
• Feather down jacket with belt + gigundo feathered hood
• Good quality, strong umbrella (also serves as trendy cane)
• Black heeled boots
• Brown walking boots
• Nude ballerinas
• Easy-to-walk-in professional heels
• Black and white camisoles
• Staight legged black pants
• Black leggings
• Tights (of several colours, designs, and textures)
• Lush, fleece housecoat

In the fridge…

• Soy milk
• 100% grapefruit juice
• Yogurt
• Cottage cheese
• Sliced chicken/turkey breast
• Hot banana peppers
• Hummus
• Organic almond butter
• Granny Smith apples
• Frozen blueberries (freezer!)

In the cupboard…

• Loose leaf white tea varieties
• Loose leaf green tea varieties
• Decaf green tea bags (for late night cravings)
• Fibre 1 cereal
• Multigrain melba toast
• Canned beans medley
• Canned flaked light tuna
• Protein bars

In the bedroom…

• An orchid
• Scalp massager
• Eucalyptus spray
• Microfibre bedding
• Fashion magazine
• Teddy bear
• Photo of family
• Photo of lover
• …  : )

In the thoughts…

• Waiting 10 minutes on the subway platform before plowing onto a train in the morning is more common than not; sometimes you’ll get lucky with those friendly commuters that will shove you right on

• Coffee is the new black

• It is normal to be at parties where the guys are in Burberry trenchcoats and discussing each other’s most recent Harry Rosen shoe purchase

• If you don’t tweet, then you don’t belong

• Vehicles will, without hesitation, drive directly into puddles while you are walking alongside on your way to work

• Queen’s Park and Lakeshore Blvd. are prime jogging territories

• The nuclear family is an endangered species

• When in doubt, you are ‘just doing this for now’

• Visiting the drycleaners brings as much joy as visiting your grandparents

• NEVER ask your boss a question. Consult google.com

• Keeping up with restaurant openings is equally as important as keeping up with current events

• Groupon.com emails are the highlight of the day

• Finding a beautiful, homosexual friend is more important than finding a beautiful, heterosexual boyfriend

NOTE: Please avoid the passage below if your level of competency in French consists of “Bonjour” and “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”

Le parfum: billet d’entrée à la haute société, clé de l’économie prospère, ou pinceau dans l’art de la séduction?

« Au fond, la toilette pour une femme, c’est le moyen de témoigner de l’artiste qui habite en elle, — le moyen révélateur par excellence et bien supérieur au produit médiocre d’un pauvre talent d’agrément, au gribouillage d’une méchante aquarelle ; — c’est le moyen d’exposer sa grâce, sa gentillesse, sa beauté, parmi l’arrangement, le coloris, l’harmonie d’un heureux tableau ; c’est le moyen de faire de sa personne, dans les sociétés civilisées, à travers les incessants changements de modes et d’ajustements, un charmant et frêle objet d’art, toujours renouvelé, toujours nouveau » (Goncourt, 226)

Le rôle du parfum au XIX siècle

Le mouvement de la sensualité au XVIII siècle en France se répand ainsi fort dans l’histoire de la civilisation du XIX siècle. En France, sur le plan culturel, cela continue ainsi à pousser l’influence de la sensualité. Parmi les gens de ce temps il existe un attachement aux plaisirs des sens, plus précisément de l’odorat. Tout en réfléchissant sur « la cour parfumée » de la reine de Louis XV et de Marie Antoinette qui aime le parfum, c’est bien clair que cette fascination avec la toilette féminine est encore répandue au XX siècle chez les grands penseurs du temps, comme Proust. Cette dissertation examinera le rôle du parfum dans la société française du XIX siècle. Premièrement, j’examinerai sa valeur en France sur le plan économique. De cette façon, je noterai le rôle du parfumeur comme étant un travail à Paris pendant ce siècle. Deuxièmement, je considérai le parfum comme un facteur déterminant de la classe sociale dans la société française. Cela mène à l’importance du matérialisme ainsi que le statut prestigieux du parfumeur. Finalement, je discuterai du pouvoir sensuel de parfum sur le plan esthétique, soutenant chez les femmes. Cela sera possible en analysant la littérature de cette période qui parle de la femme et sa toilette. Ce sujet reflète bien le matériau dans le cours comme l’essor économique pendant ce temps

…

Le parfum est surtout un élément fondamental dans l’histoire de la civilisation française. Il fait partie sur le cadre social comme un renforcement à l’exclusivité de la haute société ainsi que le prestige du parfumeur. Son succès comme produit « must have » dans le marché commercial mène à la hausse de l’économie. Le parfum exige un pouvoir intime dans la toilette féminine. Le parfum est comme une machine de temps qui nous prend à un moment dans le passé. Un moment que nous associons à la senteur pour toujours. C’est comme l’odeur du vin, qui révèle sa richesse quand il danse dans le verre. C’est le moment on se retourne au matin et absorbe la senteur de l’amant sur l’oreiller. Mais la vraie question, oserai-je vous demander, est si le parfum pourrait s’étendre plus loin son pouvoir en rapport à la distribution de bonnes notes (cela est votre signale de sentir le papier)

Hard work and sacrifice are considered key ingredients for success. So how can success, then, be measured if life is dictated by those who know better for having been there, aware of how merciless this world can be?  While this may serve as a protection tool for loving parents, let us be reminded of the merit in having a goal and passionately driven to achieve it. Why bother even getting up in the morning, brushing one’s teeth and prepare for the day?

In unsettling times, our generation is fortunate enough to learn early in the game that money is but a fleeting component to life.  While it offers neither substance nor guarantee, it nonetheless finds itself at the forefront of our desires. It is what drives us to enroll in post-secondary institutions.  It is why we invest our money in the stock market.  It is why we gamble, why we save, why we work a 9-5 job for a company about which we constantly complain. What does happiness have to do with success?

At the end of my senior year of high school, I remember a discussion with my English teacher about future plans to pursue a career in education. Rouged with grievance, she pleaded, “Samantha. There is so much more. Don’t be afraid to explore other things you love.”

To this teacher, I will be forever grateful for you having bestowed on me what was possibly the greatest advice I have received to this day.

Follow your bliss.

From what I have gathered so far, I firmly believe the greatest challenge in life is to go against the grain.  We as humans are terrified of being judged, often choosing to live in misery than to make any radical changes to serve our well being for the better. Change, while it often leads to self-satisfaction and discovery, is much too often accompanied by judgment. It is judgment of which we are truly fearful, serving as the stamp to our reputation.  So the real conflict is whether we can follow our bliss while adhering to social responsibilities.

Break it down, and it is actually quite simple. If you follow your bliss, you will not have feelings of resentment. If you fail, you will have no one to blame but yourself. If you succeed, you will be forever in debt to valuing your perseverance and your strength in character.

In grade six, our teacher assigned a very simple project for art class. We were asked to find an inspirational quote, use creative fonts and draw a picture. I chose the quote, “Quitters never win and winners never quit”. At the time, this quote meant nothing more to me than the humourous picture I drew along with it—a shmuck pulling at his empty pockets and a sweaty athlete crossing the finish line (naturally). Now, I find this quote infiltrates my everyday life. Don’t quit. Choose to win. And even in the darkest hour, just remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

Manolo Blanik’s and Cosmopolitan’s aside, Sex & the City has fundamentally provided a modern dynamic to our personal lifestyles relatable to mature girls and women of all ages, and more significantly, from every cultural, religious and political landscape.

We have reached an age where women no longer plan to complete high school to settle into the domestic role of the housewife and very soon after, the stay-at-home mother.

Many young women feel lost without the comfort and security that comes so neatly gift wrapped with a committed partner. As if we are free neutrons, candidly scanning the planet for the most perfect proton. Science tells us that free neutrons are motionless and considered useless if not immediately paired up with a respective proton. If left alone, it will begin to decay and die off usually within 15 minutes. So that’s that ladies, find your proton or get whacked.

Nowadays, we have been forced under the microscope to be examined as our naked self. “What do you love doing?” “What is your greatest passion in life?” “Where and how do you want to establish yourself in this world?”

Some of us have a burning desire to dedicate our life to care for our loved ones, while others ambitiously seek to contribute to society as a professional. Options, that equally carry a tremendous amount of value, dignity and sacrifice.

As a die-hard and longtime worshipper of the SATC religion, it was a shame to feel a twinge of disappointment after watching the highly anticipated sequel. During the pre-release months, nearly every corporation in the world wanted in on the hoopla, marketing consumer-spending galore. Filmwise, the producers managed to inject a little too much Hollywood botox into SATC’s pleasant little wrinkles. The fashion is outrageously fabulous, the trips are equally scandalous and their lifestyles have become exceedingly posh. This, to some, may have been considered tainting SATC’s authenticity.

But look close enough, and you will see the quirky little lines that gave the television and book series its charm and character are still there and are more visible than ever.

Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are four modern female characters who in Candace Bushnell’s very first chapter and in Michael Patrick King’s very first episode, aim to present real-life questions as slinky little tales on career, friends and relationships. This is what I have learned:

The ‘zsa zsa zu’ that comes automatically in the primary stages of a relationship will eventually lose its sparkle. It is our responsibility to choose if we want to work at keeping that sparkle shining bright, or whether it is time to open our bellies and let those wild butterflies escape to a place far, far away, never to be felt again.

Nothing in life will be perfect and we will never get everything we want. Some of us will land short of our dream career, some of us will be infertile, some will fall in love with someone we’d never imagined and at an age we hadn’t anticipated, while others will not fall in love at all. What’s important, really, is how we respond. To not waste energy dwelling on the unchangeable and to always be thankful for what we have. To bloom where we are planted. And to certainly try on several pairs of shoes while we’re at it (both figuratively and literally, of course).

No matter who we are, our domestic partner will let us down, our children will behave against our will and our friends will hurt us. What will get us through these struggles is the capacity to internalize our hardships and take enough time to achieve a genuine feeling of forgiveness. A feeling, admirable for its much-needed strength; a feeling that some people will not achieve in a lifetime.

At the end of the day, it does not come down to finding the perfect partner, molding the perfect children, or surrounding yourself around the perfect group of friends. Let us take SATC as a reminder of how important it is to nourish and honour our own self before anyone else. This will, in the end, make us stronger mothers, friends and partners.

I will close this piece with a quote. A quote that infiltrates the heart, and Facebook page, of many females. And it goes a little something like this:

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

LG Fashion Week Beauty by L’Oréal is a bi-annual event organized by the Fashion Design Council of Canada.  ”The Power of Style” played as this season’s theme to showcase the Fall/Winter 2010 Collection of Canadian designers, including Evan Biddell, Bustle, Kimberly Newport-Mimram, Joe Mimram among many others. The event was hosted at the Allstream Centre at Exhibition Place March 28- April 1.

The Fashion Design Council of Canada is made up of three full-time employees, several seasonal contract staff, a number of sponsors and volunteers galore. Before starting my three-week term as a volunteer, I did some research on the event, the Council and the people.

Robin Kay, former designer and long-time Torontonian, is the President of the FDCC.  Having had many a strip torn off her by media and fashion critics, I was intrigued by her and determined to find out more. And such was done–by working as an Assistant to the Graphic Designer pre-event in the FDCC office and as a Host Coordinator for the Designer entrance during the event. Say what people may, but after having seen her at her worst and best moments, I firmly disagree with the critics.

While she may often bark commands at naive young fashionistas or demand you to reposition your post three times a day, one thing is for sure: the woman is rock-solid, fierce and knows exactly what to do to get exactly what she wants. I commend her, as should others, for her immense contribution to Canadian fashion, making it something when it was nothing. In order to reap such success in the show-no-mercy fashion world, one must be aggressive. Entering her 60th year, she continues to stand in the limelight mish mash of glamour and criticism. But she does so willingly, season after season, because of her life long passion for the growth of Canadian fashion.

After a busy first morning hosting the Designer entrance, my colleague and I were anxious for lunch, like the rest of the volunteer team. Because some volunteers work 10+ hour days, the FDCC was kind enough to provide lunch and dinner. So off we went to enjoy our lunch. A lunch, to be shared with dozen’s of volunteers, consisting of Na’an bread, hummous, baby carrots, raisins and apples. After a few bites of this and a few bites of that, we headed back to our desk, to sign in, guide and chat with Designers and their entourage of stylists, friends and models until dinner. A dinner, to be shared with dozen’s of volunteers, consisting of Na’an bread, hummous, baby carrots, raisins and apples. Though most complained, really, it should be no surprise. Since when was eating a main priority in the fashion industry? My point exactly.

That’s not to say the petition, started by a 5’11 long-legged 100-something pound beauty, entitled “Feed the Models” was not a major topic of conversation. By the final day and to the FDCC’s distaste, a mystery woman came to the rescue with bags of goodies for them. Contrary to popular belief, you will not understand the idea of scary until you cross the path of a hungry model.

I, however, was lucky enough to be staying with my pure-bred Italian uncle for the week, who, after having discovered what we were being fed, packed me a high-fiber-protein, vitamin-filled lunch and dinner every single day. A gem, he is.

Working as the smiley-faced rationalizer for 10+ hours a day, with self-proclaimed VIP and overly pushy media trying to sneak backstage, was a role easily trumped by the bonus of having all-access backstage and attending shows of Canadian designers including Evan Biddell, Preloved and most of all, Pink Tartan. Chatting with and later watching Niagara-born Kimberly Newport-Mimram be interviewed backstage by Canada’s top fashion journalists, after writing about her myself nearly a year ago, was quite simply one of the most memorable moments of my life.

No, I take that back. My most memorable moment was being able to use my French to ask Canada’s Most Arrogant French Agent (who was backstage pass-less) of Canada’s Most Arrogant French Model, to leave the Designer entrance. Then one nod to the security guard, et voilà!

Not long after did it occur to me that an event such as this was in fact the mothership of the super-ego. Heck, might as well spread your own feathers and join the fun. When in Rome, right?!

The well-established designers don’t seem to mind (or care) if you marvel at their existence, while newer designers choose to co-ordinate an entrance backstage as lavish as their show.  In fact, it is quite common to throw a public temper tantrum, eyes welding with tears, and insist to pull your entire collection from the show, when the venue’s General Manager prohibits the furry critter camouflaged under your coat.

Tiny dogs, lest we forget, are to be adored and treated as the first-born son of a King.

The team of L’Oréal hair stylists and make-up artists from Montréal set a catwalk of their own backstage. With every walk by their station, I naturally developed this strut, drowning in the rhytmn of dance music, illuminated by bright white lights and lost amidst a smokey cloud of hairspray and powder. By the third day, I developed a pimple. A pimple that did not know what was coming the moment I asked a stylist, “Excusez-moi, mais pouvez-vous fixer ceci, s’il vous plaît?”

The stories are endless, really, as each day was completely different and similarly chaotic to the last. For the time being, I will leave you with this and perhaps one season you will attend a show, or two, to see for yourself. From the guelling preparations to the glamourous red carpet, I’m Samantha Ventresca being seen behind the scene, and this is Canadian fashion.

http://eedition.niagaramag.ca/doc/Niagara-Magazine/Business-Niagara/2010032202/

The skyline of clusterous mountains sheeted beneath crystalline white gloss played as the tapestry to a fortnight of physically competitive affairs. Affairs to manifest, indeed, a bounty of courage, disappointment, and triumph.

A competitive pathway was guided by the striking reflection from icy pales of snow in the day and in the night by the ever blazing Olympic flame–otherwise disguised as the symbol of Vancouver’s enchanted mistress, Mary-Jane. Tribal echos feathered through the ears of the warriors, the ears of the spectators. A land, modest and peaceful, whose identity was exposed to the world-its multiculturalism, its inclusivity, its tranquility.

A nation that will celebrate on the ice, cigar in hand, after a satisfying defeat and one that will perform with utmost conviction, even in the absence of its beloved. Above all, a nation that will neither blush nor madden, but chuckle in the face of an erectile difficulty.

Adorned in red and white, the knights protected themselves with their knightly helmets and swordly sticks, fighting for their land on their land—for a game that belongs to them. A rigorous battle turned victory, minutes in overtime, by the land’s very own knight in shining armour.

After having captured fourteen golden medallions, we have seen thee rise with glowing hearts, a nation together strong and free from far and wide, to live happily ever after.

The End.